Nine Weeks

It seems like it was just yesterday when Rebecca told me we were pregnant. Wonder, excitement, joy, confusion, uncertainty and fear came over me. As I was thinking, "How am I going to pay for this?", my mouth moved and "That's great baby! I'm so excited!" came out. I was at that time, and am now, genuinely overjoyed about being a father, but this wasn't some small event; this news pointed to a future that was much different and uncertain than the reality we had grown accustom to!

So many questions went through my mind that night: "How do we know if the baby is ok?", "What happens if...", "What should we do about...?", and "What's the best way to pay for ...?" When I think about it for too long, I end up thinking about how many things there are that can go wrong instead of thinking about what God has already provided!

Why do we allow ourselves to focus on what can go wrong when we know God and His plan can't go wrong?

It's funny how we allow anxiety to become a part of our lives. There is always something to worry about; even after the baby is born, the next phase in our lives will contain uncertainties. Worrying about the health of the baby in the womb will be followed by worrying about the health of the baby as it grows outside the womb. Each step of the way there will be something else to worry about; if we let it, an infinite loop of fear and uncertainty can consume us.

It's been nine weeks and, even though I still have questions, fears and uncertainty, the baby is doing well. God has continued to provide in ways that only He can and Rebecca and I feel extremely blessed. There are still plenty of things to worry about at this time in our lives, but we've resolved to let God worry about them instead. Pray for us and the baby as we continue to refine our reliance on the Lord.